You thought things were bad here in the good ol' USA? The Wall Street bailout, the auto industry bailout... it's looking pretty bleak. Well, just thank your stars you don't live in Italy, where the situation has gotten so bad for cheese producers that the government has issued a bailout for Parmigiano Reggiano.

That's right -- the cheese you use to grate over pastas has been saved by the Italian government, which has purchased 100,000 wheels of Parmesan to donate to charity. With the economy in such turmoil, it's good to see that the Italian government has its priorities in place.

But what about that other Italian favorite, mozzarella? No such luck; mozzarella producers aren't getting any help at all, and they're pretty steamed. Understandably so -- what will happen to pizzas and antipasti platters around the world? Who will save them? At uncertain times like this, it's home-cooked comfort food we turn to, and a hearty, gooey lasagna just isn't the same without layers of melt-in-your-mouth mozzarella. So I'm issuing a personal plea to the Italian government -- save mozzarella! Save our baked zitis and calzones!

(See, I told you -- no cheesy puns. But if you feel like you're missing out, check out this editorial from the Financial Times.)